I'll Do It For You
by FussleFloosh
Summary: JAY GUTHRIE/ICARUS Centric. Based after Julia's death and how he deals with it with a little insight from a fellow feathery friend.


_**I'LL DO IT FOR YOU**_

_It was dark and rather wet though this didn't bother him if anything he thought it would improve his chances, the fog helped too it made it almost impossible to see which would keep pesky warren at bay. The last thing he wanted was for this to be another foiled attempt by the pesky birdman "saving him" – he didn't want to be saved what part of that did they not understand. He wouldn't be doing it in the first place if he wanted to be saved now would he, not that he'd take the chance of trying to explain that to them. They wouldn't' understand, they couldn't._

_It …It was his fault and he …he deserved to pay for it? Or maybe he was taking the easy route maybe the constant mental torture was suppose to be his punishment. If so he'd have to apologize to Julia if the afterlife truly existed for being such a coward. It wouldn't be long until he found out though he just had to make sure he damaged himself enough for that pesky healing factor of his to kick out. _

_After a great deal of thought he believed throwing himself of the statue of liberty to be the best option, well it came in on top of decapitation and throwing himself into a garbage disposal. It had surprised him at how easily the idea's of his death had come to him, it was a morbid but relaxing thought knowing he could just get it over and done with – here and now. Now all he had to do was "accidentally" stroll of the top of Ms Liberty and by the time gravity had done its work there'd be very little of him left. Nothing left to regenerate, it was a morbid thought but this is what he wanted, what he needed._

_By now the fog blanket had swept across the city swallowing any sources of light and leaving the skyline to non-existent. Gripping the railing he inhaled looking a the dense fog cloud below him, it could have fooled someone into believing it to be a soft landing the texture of the fog, but he knew better, this would hurt – at least if by some miracle he survived, personally he was hoping to be death on impact._

"_Just me, no wings, no healing, just me and the ground" he coached himself as he looked down at his destination, there was no going back and he knew it. Letting his right hand fall to his waist he felt his weight fall to his left hand, exhaling slowly he loosened his fingers before allowing himself to fall his feet lifting into the air as he nose dived into the fog. _

"_I'll be there soon Julia" he whispered closing his eyes and accepting his soon to be inevitable fate, or so it seemed. Funny think about fate it changes as soon as someone decides to do something incredibly stupid._

"_What are you doing!?!" Jay screamed in frustration at the sudden shock of his leg being yanked back up into the air his body following in suit, the white wings were no stranger. Struggling against his captor's grip he kicked upwards, a feeble bid for freedom as it was locked against his other leg._

"_Let me go now!" Jay squirmed seemingly looking like a caterpillar as he attempted to regain control of his legs, ripping his top he exposed his auburn coloured wings, beating lie frantic in a last chance to break free._

"_Would you knock it off" Warren's voice was not amused "It's hard enough to fly through this without you flapping about like a headless chicken" he continued serving past numerous shadowed buildings. The fog had doubled in volume and it was like trying to steer a car with its front window cement covered, after a tight corner he ducked down into an alley landing promptly. _

_A little too promptly for Jay, who fell to the ground wings first "What is your problem?" he snapped icily rubbing his shoulder blade._

"_Oh I'm sorry I thought in comparison to chucking yourself of the tallest infrastructure in the city a four foot drop would be a picnic" Warren replied the concern in his eyes masked by the current anger of the teenagers suicide bid and general recklessness._

"_Whatever" Jay muttered pulling himself up before stalking out of the alley way only to be yanked back by his so called "saviour"_

"_Oh no you're not leaving my site, do you have any idea how worried your mother is?" Warren asked pinning him effortlessly to the wall. _

"_Oh yeah I'm sure she' so worried, do you want to know why she sent me back? So she wouldn't feel guilty if I tried it again, she knew I would but instead of It being on her she'd rather it be on you lot" Jay bit back as he wrestled himself from Warren's grip._

"_Is that true? Or have you just drilled it into your head along with the idea that everyone blames you for Julia's death?" Warren yelled pushing him back against the wall, knowing he was pressing Jay's buttons._

"_Shut up" The teenager yelled "You don't know anything" he continued thrashing about under Warren's grip despite the hold he had on the younger man. _

"_I don't? Well why don't you explain it to me" Warren replied tightening his grip in fear of loosing it all together, he was defiantly a strong little bugger when he wanted to be._

"_No, it's none of your business" Jay replied breathlessly as his struggle began to ware down, sensing it too Warren released his grip on the younger man who gripped the wall breathing heavily "You wouldn't understand, no one would"_

_Warren sighed inwardly watching the teenager trying to compose himself, it was upsetting to see how self destructive the young Guthrie brother had become. He remembered finding him with Julia that night, he'd been so upset he couldn't comprehend why he'd survived and she hadn't. It had been him who tried to explain to the heartbroken teen his regenerative powers had kicked in, and that he couldn't have done anything to save her._

"_You're right" he replied softly causing Jay to look up curiosity crossing his face," I won't understand at least not fully, but there is something I do know and that is that you loved her and she knew that, she was willing to give it all up for you. She loved you, and now you need to decide whether she'd want you to sit here feeling sorry for yourself and trying to kill yourself every other day of the week, or whether she would want you to get up and move on with your life" Warren continued watching the tears form in his eyes "She eventually gave her life to be with you, and okay it didn't turn out perfect but think of all the hardships you overcame, do you really want that to be for nothing? Do you want her memory and death to have meant nothing? Because if so then go ahead chuck yourself of a building because if that's the case then your obviously no longer the man she fell in love with"_

_The tears had come involuntary… well the first wave at least, by now Jay Guthrie's face was as wet as the street he collapsed onto "I miss her so much" he whimpered softly as more tears threatening to fall._

"_And that's nothing to be ashamed about" _

"_I thought she'd be okay, I was okay I thought as soon as I got out of the water she'd be okay, but she… she wouldn't wake up… and I tried, I tried I did" the teenager continued to ramble hysterically as Warren knelt down beside him "I never even got to say goodbye"_

"_Tell her" Warren replied causing Jay to look up questioningly through teary eyes, "Tell her what you want to tell her and believe that somehow she'll hear" he finished casting his eyes upwards towards the sky._

"_I…I loved…love you so much, and I'm so sorry for everything" Jay began shakily, "You were… are my everything, and I've been so stupid. I miss you so much but it doesn't mean I should be able to justify killing myself to get to you, you wouldn't want that but I guess I forgot what you would have wanted, I promise I'll get better…"_

"… _I'll do it for you" he promised._

**Hope you enjoyed (:**

**DISCLAIMER; I own nothing if I did I wouldn't be here writing about it :)**

**MUSICAL INSPIRATION; **

**Jaiden Sawaii - I'm so tired**

**Tokio Hotel – Don't Jump/Spring Nicht**


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